Living For The First Time
by kanishamarie
Summary: Bella Swan is an 18 year old student at NYU. Everything appears to be normal in her life but Dr. Carlisle Cullen knows different. B doesn't like telling people about her illness, but when she meets Edward Mason, Carlisle's adopted son, things change.B/E
1. Chapter 1

_The summary is right below this, if you don't want to much info, don't read it. I don't think I spoiled anything because there will definitely be some surprises. I apoligize in advance if there are spelling errors, it's 1:00 in the morning and I have to get up at 6:00 but I really didn't want to forget this._

_Summary: Bella Swan is an 18 year old collage student at NYU, everything appears to be normal in the life of Bella Swan, but a certain doctor by the name of Carlisle Cullen knows different. Bella doesn't like to flaunt her illness, actually she doesn't tell anyone. Renee and Charlie and a few other close people from forks, are the only people who knows about the stuggle of Bella's life. Bella is determined to keep her illness a secret in New York, she doesn't want anyone's pity. When Bella meets Edward.. everything changes, she finds out that it's possible to enjoy life and to hope for the future, for the first time in her life Bella knows what it feels like to want to survive.. What happens when Carlisle figures out Bella is dating his youngest son, what happens when Bella finds out Edward Mason's legal gaurdian is none other than her Doctor? And how will Edward react when he find out Bella has Cancer._

_Disclaimerr: I do not own the Twilight Saga or it's charaters_

_(A/N) I'm taking a break from Bella's Destiny, I just can't write it right now. I don't know when I will be able to but hopefully soon. I seem to have found the problem, I have a strange obsession with AH at the moment. So this is to satisfy my need for __humans. __I don't know how this got into my head but I was sitting down at my desk playing with my eight ball when I thought up this idea. So I hope you enjoy and I'll see you at the bottom, if you make it there that is._

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**Bella's POV**

When would it end?

I can't take anymore, if it weren't for Charlie and Renee, I would have already given up, saying 'Hell with this, nothing is worth getting gross ass tubes in your chest and losing your hair'. My life consist of laying in a bed 3 times a week as cruel nurses poke needles into my skin to clear out my blood.

The. Worst. feeling. Ever.

I have ALL. Acute Lymphoblastic leukemia, the longer version for 'pain in the ass'. I was diagnosed when I was 5 and since then I have had to undergo numurous tests, it wasn't to difficult to detect. My gran had a different form of leukemia and never realized it until it was to late. I'm considered 'lucky' because my illness was discovered early on and I have a bone marrow doner.

Who is the fine doner of mine? Well, none other than Jacob Black.

It's very uncommon to have a doner who isn't blood related but there Jake was when I was 9 and dying, he was a perfect match. Since then I've been fine, but my kidneys haven't been working properly and I have to have these stupid tests again. If all goes well I won't need a transplant, but if I do Jake is there and willing.

After Jake was confirmed my perfect match, his father Billy and my dad have been best buds. Jake and I still hang out too, but it's a little different because he is nine years older than I am. Jake always concidered himself my protecter, but things have to change now. I'm eighteen and he is 27, it's about time he settle down with Leah. Of course no one wants to leave my side now, but I'm old enough and mature enough to take care of myself.

"Ouch." I yelled as a nurse stabbed me with a needle. She smiled and whispered a sorry

Talk about heartless bitches.

That may sound a little over dramatic, but honestly, this one nurse. Nurse _Tanya_, as she prefers to be called, is a total bitch and I'm not just saying that because of my postion. This nurse is a freaking angel compaired to that she-beast. I mean come on, she flirts with . The man is in his 40's and happily married with three kids. Nurse She-beast her self has a thing for one of his kids, she's always 'your son is so talented' and 'I see where he gets his good looks'. Dr. Cullen polietly shrugs her off like a gentleman but I catch the little roll in his eye when she turns to lower my bed or whatever shit she does.

"Isabella" says as he walks into the room with a clipboard in front of his face.

I rolled my eyes and sat forward a bit, only to feel the familiar clench in my stomach.

I covered my mouth with the arm that wasn't hooked up to needles and grabbed for the trash can on the end table.

Another one of the up's in having ALL.

After my violent sickness passed I sat up and took a sit of water, which I wasn't supposed to be drinking but I didn't care.

" I thought I asked you to call me Bella, Dr. Cullen." I said not the least bit embarrased about puking my brains out in front of him, it happens all the time and I've kind of gotten used to it.

He looked up from the board and slightly smirked.

"I apoligize, Bella. I just don't understand why you don't like Isabella, its a very strong name."

I snorted.

"It's too formal." I insisted.

Dr. Cullen smiled and walked over to the machine that was currently clearing my blood.

Gross.

"We're about done, about another 20 minutes or so." He said writing something down on the paper.

Another 20 minutes of torture, I have been sitting here for five hours, 20 minutes wouldn't kill me.

A low chuckle escaped between my lips.

raised his eyebrow.

I shook my head and picked up my Jane Austen's book, still smiling at the dumb irony.

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_30_ minutes later,Yup _30_ not 20, and I was walking out of the clinic.

My phone went off.

I checked the caller I.d

_Mom._

I sighed.

"Hey mom, I just got out. Everything is fine, don't worry." I said before she could even speak.

_"Bella, I really wish you would just come back home. What is so great about New York? You don't know anyone, please com-"_

"I'm not having this discussion again. Charlie thinks it's great, I think it's great. You're out voted, deal with it." I didn't mean to sound harsh, but sitting with needles in your arm for almost 6 straight hours does not leave you happy and in the mood for conversations. I'm grumpy and tired and want nothing more than to go back to my apartment and pray Rose isn't home.

_"Bella, don't be difficult. I understand you're probably exhausted but I'm your mother and I want to make sure your okay. I know you try and sugar coat everything.." she said in a small voice._

I pinched the bridge of my nose. I was now leaning against my truck in the parking lot. For once she was actually right, it's not fair to take it out on her or any other one else for that matter

"Sorry mom. I'm really don't know anything, I just went to get my blood cleaned. I promise to call you tomorrow."

_"Alright, call Charlie too, you know he worry's about you. Bye bye dear. Call if you need anything."_

"I will mom, I love you."

I shut my phone and hopped into my truck.

With in minutes I pulled up the familiar apartment I've been living in for the past year, getting out of my truck I threw my hoodie on over my '09' kings of leon t-shirt. It didn't want to explain to my roommate Rosalie about the needle marks on my arms, last time I forgot to cover my arms she accused me of being a herion addict.. Not a comfortable conversation, it took hours for me to convince her otherwise and pray she wouldn't call Charlie and freak him out, though he'd probably put two and two together and realize i'm not a drug junkie.

I took the elevator up to the top floor, smoothing my hair down and popping a peice of gum in my mouth. I needed to look like I came from library and not like I just stepped out of a WWE westling ring.

"Rose?" I called when I turned the doornob, I heard voices coming from the living room. I hesitated at the doorway, Rosalie didn't tell me we would be having company I looked down at my outfit and cringed.

Apart from my black hoddie and kings of leon shirt I was wearing cut off shorts, and my chucks.. not really appropriate for the type of rich friend's Rose has.. It still gets me sometimes, I still didn't understand why she had an ad in the paper looking for a room mate last year when she has a shit load of rich friends.

"Bella! I was wondering were you were. Emmett's here.." I sighed with relief, Emmett was no big deal. Him and Rose have been together since last year, and he pratically lives here. "And he brought his little sister Alice."

Ah, Hell. Great. I've heard about Alice, Emmett says she is presistent and into the whole fashion thing. She is going to take on look at me and tick in disgust, I already know it.

"Um, Rose?" I asked pulling her into the kitchen. "Why are they here?" I asked filling me a cup of water.

"I told you, Bella. Remember last week?" I stared at her in confusion, she sighed and pushed me toward me room. "I told you about going out with Emmett and his brother and sister. Edward's not here, he is going to meet us at the diner but you promised so you have to go."

Shit!

I did promise, I completely over looked my doctor's appointment being on the same day.

"Rose, I'm really tired can't you.." I trailed off when I saw her face fall

She looked so.. desperate.

"Please, Bella. I've never met anyone in his family and I can't go on my own, pleaseee." she pouted out her lip.

I couldn't say no.

"Fine." I sighed, stomping into my room and closing the door so I could find something presentable to wear.

"Thank you, Bella!" She called before I heard her heals clicking on the tile floor toward the living room, where the voices picked up again.

I was really hoping for some time to rest, but in order to keep things a secret I had to keep up with appearances and I guess that entitled going out with Rose and her boy toy's siblings.

After picking out a pair of jeans and a green sweater that covered my arms I threw my hair up into a ponytail. I really didn't see the need to make an effort to impress Emmett's sister that was Rose's job. I brushed my teeth thoroughly and put my chucks on before heading out into the living room. Rose and Alice were talking animatedly in their own little world, Emmett was standing about 2 feet from then grinning so big his dimples were very noticeable. He looked over at me and his grin grew, if that's even possible

"Hey slim!" Emmett called coming over to pick my up in a bone crushing huge.

bad idea.

I was still weak from earlier and my stomach was still reacting to sudden movement. I bit back the vile that began to rise in my throat and smiled up at Emmett when he sat me back down.

"Hi, Emmett." I said when I was sure I wouldn't throw up on him.

"Ali, this is Bella. Slim this is my sister Alice." Emmett said waving the introductions.

I smiled as I took Alice in.

She was small, very small, like child-like small with big deep blue eyes just like Emmett. She was wearing some desighner clothes that I had no idea who made and was just about bouncing with excitement.

"It's so nice to meet you Bella. Emmett told be so much about you and Rose." She pranced over to hug me.

So not what I was expecting, but I hugged her back none the less.

"It's nice meeting you too, Alice." I said, awkwardly maunuvering out of the hug. I didn't want to take the chance of throwing up on her and embarrasing Rose "So, where are we going?" I asked shoving my hands in my pocket.

"That place you and Rose love so much. The Empire Diner." Emmett said, pulling Rose toward him and nuzzeling her neck.

"Great, let's go." I said.

The sooner we leave the sooner this is over and I get to go to sleep.

"Excited are you, Bella?" Emmett asked fallowing me out the door with Alice and Rose next to him.

"Sure, why wouldn't I be?" I asked turning to look at him, hoping my grin looked real.

Alice smiled and looked up at Emmett.

"She hasn't met Edward yet has she?" Alice asked, her eyes twinkling with excitement.

Emmett chuckled and shook his head.

"Nope." He popped the 'p'

"Well, this is going to be a fun night." Alice said laughing darkly with Emmett.

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_**(A/N) Well, there it is. Was it bad? I really hope not, next chapter we meet EDWARRD! what do you think his personality will be like? Judging Alice and Emmett's reaction it's eaither he a total stuck up asshole or he's full of life and down with partying. Maybe both, maybe neither. I'd like to hear your thoughts. So please review! **_


	2. Chapter 2

**Bella's POV**

The ride to the Empire Diner had been fine, I chose to sit next to the window just in case things got a little.. chunky. Alice sat in back with me talking about a trip she wants to plan with Rose and I, Rose and Emmett sat in the front talking in hushed whispers about something I'd rather not know.

When Emmett parked across the street from the diner, I didn't hesitate as I walked in the middle of the street, I felt a strong but small arm pull me back on the curb suddenly

"Woah, watch where you're going Bella." Alice said just as a taxi pulled right in front of us.

I smiled.

"Thanks."

This time I checked to make sure there was no traffic before crossing. Emmett walked ahead of me, Alice, and Rose and held the door opened.

"Ladies." Emmett said bowing his head.

Alice chuckled, Rose giggled, I just rolled my eyes. I didn't know where we were sitting so I fallowed close behind Alice, she was jumping over the heads by the bar looking for her brother. She squealed and ran straight ahead, pushing grown men out of the way. One man actually turned to hit her but caught Emmett's death glare and scurried away.

"Edwarddd!" Alice called jumping into the lap of a man sitting at the bar with a drink to his lips, the drink sloshed over the man's hands and he quickly sat it down before standing and grabbing a hold of Alice.

"Ali, it's been a while. When did you get back into town?" Edward asked setting her back on her feet before leaving a ten dollar bill on the counter.

All I could see was the back of his head, he had bronze colored sex hair that looked soft, his hand absentmindedly ran threw his bronze locks and landed on the back of his neck. My eyes trailed down farther, his back muscles where straining against the fabric of his shirt, he raised his hands above his head stretching showing off the pale skin just above his ass.

Gah.

One word to describe his ass. Perfect.

I heard a chuckle behind me.

"Checking out Edward, Bella?" Emmett asked loudly, Edward turned to the sound of his voice, locking eyes with Emmett before turning down to stare at me.

Sweet Baby Jesus.

The mans eyes nearly made my knees go weak. Percing bright green eyes framed by long thick lashes.

I hadn't realized I was ogling him until Rose cleared her throat. I looked down at my feet blushing so much it actually felt like sunburn.

"Um, so.. Let's get a drink."

Alice to the rescue.

Thank. God

"Ugh, , please." I said walking over to Alice who was standing by Edward's vacant seat.

I really didn't think I could handle introductions after that embarrasing situation. He probably thought I was some horny teenager drooling over his perfect looks.. which in a way I was.

_Stop it Bella, remember who you are. Don't do this._

I wasn't planning on doing anything, sure this man was the hottest peice of meat I had ever laid eyes on but I wasn't stupid enough to try and pursue him, I mean he barely even glanced my way and by the looks of all the other woman staring at him he didn't need some stringy haired girl like me trying to force his attention.

I hadn't noticed Alice staring at me until I plopped down on the stool.

"She's 18, not old enough to party with the big kids." Emmett laughed.

I shot him a glare.

I could drink if I wanted to. Rose offered to buy me a drink on numuorous occasions, but not only was my age a problem but also my kidneys. Doctors orders say i'm not allowed to drink and if I do not alot.

Alice laughed and shrugged ordering herself an apple martini, Emmett ordered two bears -one for him and the other for Edward probably. Rose ordered a sex on the beach.

I honestly didn't care that I was the only teenage, Rose turned 21 last month and Emmett is 24. Both took time off after high school to go back packing some where in Europe, I think Rose went to Paris and Emmett went to London, but I wasn't for sure. I'm not to sure how old Alice and Edward are though, but judging by the drinks in their hands they're over 21

I sat down next to Alice, avoiding any contact with -on-legs, and sipped my coke. I was staring off into space, not paying attention to anyone when I felt a presence behind me, I turned and saw Edward staring intently at me with a crooked smile on his lips.

"So you were checking me out?" He asked smuggly, sitting in Alice's now empty seat.

Oh, well. Okay, you cocky bastard.

"Don't flatter yourself, babe. I was simply staring at the interaction between you and Alice. How old are you two anyway?" I asked, trying to steer the conversation from me.

"I'm 22 and Alice just turned 21 a few months ago. Rose tells me you're a NYU student?"

Ugh, why did he have to ask a question after everything he says?

"Yes." was all I said, I twirled the straw around the glass hoping maybe he would just walk away before I jumped him against my better judgement.

Don't get me wrong, he was pretty damn hott. To hott for his own good, but he was so cocky it was nearly unbearable.. some how that just made me want him even more.

Ah, shhit.

"Well, Bella.. You pefer Bella right?" I nodded my head, still not looking directly in his eyes. "How about you let me buy you a drink?"

I snorted.

_Nice, Bella. Way to make yourself look attractive, nothing turns a guy on more than the nose snort. Dumb ass._

I wasn't trying to be attracive, I wanted to show this asshole that not every person with a vagina wanted him.. even if that was a partial lie.

"How about you buy yourself a drink, and I sit back and watch you get smashed." I asked glancing over at him for the first time, his smug smiled turned to confusion and wonder before settling on desire.

Edward looked at me for a moment longer, challanging me before he turned to the bartender.

"Can I get a shot of tequila and two jager bombs?" He asked leaning over the counter.

I narrowed my eyes.

"I'm not drinking with you." I said crossing my arms and leaning on the counter.

He tipped his head to the side and grinned.

"I do believe you asked me to 'buy myself a drink and watch as I get smashed.' I couldn't deny a pretty lady like yourself anything." He said right before he downed the tequila.

I chuckled and he smiled.

After the jager bombs he threw in the back of his throat he opted to getting another round of shots.

I stared in disbelief.

"You're going to make yourself sick, you really don't have to drink yourself to death because I told you too." I said pulling his Don Julio out of his hands.

He said that he would stop drinking when I ordered one drink and cut loose. I denied him and he kept ordering drinks, we talked and laughed, and he asked me about my family and I asked about his. He told me his father was a doctor and he was studying to be one as well, his mother and father died when he was 6 and he moved in with his aunt and uncle who he sees and his parents, my heart broke in two when he talked about his family with so much love. Edward apparently decided to take a break from Dartmouth for a few years and explore life here in New York with his family. I don't know how long we talked but soon he was so wasted he could barely form a sentence.

It was around 1 am and I had no idea where Rose, Emmett, and Alice were.

"D'you know your the f-first gurl to." hick-up "turn me down?" He slurred resting his head on his arm and staring up at me through glazed eyes.

"Yes, I wouldn't be surprised if I was." I said pushing the shot glass away and shooting the bartender a glare, he should have cut him off a long time ago.

'Utmit it, ya think i'm smexy." Edward said pulling up his shirt and showing off his abs.

I chuckled when he started rubbing his chest, he smiled and leaned forward.

"J'yuou got pretty eyyes." Edward said with a pleading look.

I grinned.

"Thanks Romeo, how about we find your brother and sister and take you home to sleep this off."

He was shaking his head before I even finished.

"Nope, one dri-nk and I'wl stop." he said raising one finger. I shook my head and he raised his hand for the bartender.

I giggled at how much it looked like a kindergardner raising his hand for the teachers attention, I couldn't believe he was going to drink more.

He ordered a shot of Grey Goose vodka, and I stared in horror as he raised it to his lips.

"Okay!" I yelled grabbing the drink from his hands.

I looked up at him and he stared back expectantly, I shrugged.

What the hell? One drink wouldn't hurt me.

I downed the gross liquid and grimaced. How the hell did he manage to drink that nasty shit all night.

He clapped happily before trying to stand up and hug me.

It was rather pathetic really, he stumbled and grabbed ahold of the counter for support. I laughed and pulled his arm over my shoulder dragging him toward the doors.

I began to slump over from Edward's weight, I looked up and noticed he more or less passed out. I looked around once more and saw Emmett's head of curly hair sitting at one of the booths. I quickly -well as quickly as I could manage- pulled Edward over to where they were eating.

Emmett dropped his hamburger when he caught sight of us, Alice simply laughed.

"What did you do to him?" Emmett asked in horror, but there was obviously some amusement in his eyes.

I shrugged and guided Edward over to sit by Emmett, he groaned and plopped down next to Emmett stirring for a moment.

"I wanna chicken wing." He slurred before passing out on the table.

"I sware I didn't do anything." I raised my hand in defense when Rose shot me a look -well, more like glare.

"Really? Explain this?" Rose scolded like a mother, pointing to Edward's drooling face.

"He was trying to buy me a drink, and I told him to buy his self one.. and he bought like...half of the bar." I said bitting my lower lip as I watched Edward snore.

I hoped he would be alright, he did drink alot..

Alice was still laughing, so much that she was actually crying.

"I...told you..so...Emmett." Alice said between giggles.

"Told you what?" I asked in confusion, I sat down next to Alice who was gasping for air.

Emmett sighed and handed a fifty dollar bill over to Alice, then he proceeded to explain to me.

"Alice said Edward would make a move on you before we left here tonight and she said you would turn him down. I thought Edward wouldn't make a move until at _least_ the 3rd night we went out, guess I was wrong." Emmett said pouting out his bottom lip.

"You _bet_ on us?" I asked, looking between Emmett and Alice.

Alice nodded her head.

"Edward saw a picture of you and Rose and had that determined look on his face when he saw you. Emmett and I made a bet to see if he could last longer than one night before hitting on you."

I blushed when I thought about the picture Emmett could possibly have.. I just prayed it wasn't the one from the photo booth where Rose and I made the horrid silly faces.

But Edward thought I was hot? A trator grin began to spread across my lips before I gave myself premision to do so.

I froze.

_What the hell are you doing, Bella. Did you forget that your sick? Did you forget about the fact that you have cancer and could drop dead at any minute. Don't you even think about starting a relationship, not that one would happen anyways.._ I yelled in my head.

Why couldn't I have just a little bit of fun? Edward and I seemed to hit it off, after his annoying cocky ways were put aside we were actually enjoying our selfs. And besides, if anything were to happen to me it wouldn't matter. Edward obviously wasn't looking for a long term relationship, and I would be perfect for that..

_You've gone mad, lady. Listen to yourself. You're really a sick twisted person._

Yes. I am sick, and for once I wish I wasn't..

Rose gasped and pointed toward me.

"You like him, you whore!" She accused with a smile.

I blushed and looked away.

"I do not!" I said chewing on my bottom lip.

"Liarrr!" Emmett yelled, causing Edward to flinch in his sleep.

"Shut up, I just met him and he drank so much he will be drunk for days. Let's leave so he can sleep it off, I have a 3:00 class tomorrow and I need to sleep too." I said getting up and pointing toward Edward. "You're carrying him, I'm going to have to go to a cyropractor." I said walking out the door and into the cold night. Alice and Rose fallowed and Emmett dragged Edward out.

"Alice, drive Edward back to his apartment. I'm taking Rose and Bella home." He said walking toward a silver volvo parked on the corner. I stopped when we got to Emmett's jeep, watching as he dumped Edward into the passanger seat before digging in his pockets.

After Emmett handed Alice the keys he came over to us, grinning at me and making me feel uneasy.

I climbed into the back and stared at everything but Rosalie and Emmett.

"I can not believe you let him drink like that, Bella. You should have just took the damn drink." Rose said

I shot her a glare.

"I don't drink, Rose. You know that, and just so you know. I did take the drink, I didn't want him to get alcohol poison and die. It's not my fault he's so hard headed." I mumbled, crossing my arms.

Emmett laughed.

"Don't take it so personally, Slim. Edward never gives up what he wants, and right now it looks like he wants you. But i've never seen him go that far. I think our little Eddie has a crush on you." Emmett singsonged.

We pulled up to the apartment, and I turned before I got out.

I couldn't help it, I just had to ask.

"Emmett? Will you..call me tomorrow and tell me if he's okay? It was kind of my fault he drank so much." I said looking over at Emmett.

His expression softened and he nodded his head.

"Sure, Bella. Now go inside and take a shower, you smell like a drunk guy." He chuckled before turning and kissing Rose.

I rolled my eyes and walked up to the apartment.

Today's events were finally crashing down on me and I barely made it to my room before I collasped on my bed, dreaming about Edward Mason.

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**(A/N) There it is. Hoped you like it. Reviews are sunshine! :)**


	3. Chapter 3

_**Disclaimer: I do not own the Twilight Saga or it's character.**_

_**Yeah, I know. I haven't updated this story in a while but I've been working on Bella's Destiny in hopes of getting over my 'vampire writers block' - my methods obviously aren't working, seeing as I'm having fun with this story and just can't think about the vamps at the moment. So lets get on with it!**_

_"Absense from those _

_we love is self from _

_self- a deadly banishment"_

_-- William Shakespeare_

**Bella's POV**

For the first time in my life, I slept restlessly. At first my dreams were insulted by Edward but after a while they were replaced. I was standing on the London Bridge, the place I most desperately wanted to visit but couldn't because I was sick. All I thought about was how I didn't want to die alone, how I wanted someone to hold my hand as I slip from this world, how I longed to have someone tell me the love I bring them.. but really all I wanted was someone to be _sad_ that I was leaving, I wanted to feel wanted.. and that truly scared me.

Because that is not what I want.

No one should feel sad when and if I do die, I accepted my illness a long time ago and I swore to my mother that I would never get to attached to someone, that having my mother and father grieving over me was enough.

But after leaving home and starting collage, I've added to the list. Rose, Emmett, and now if I choose not to do something about it possibly Edward and Alice too.

So after I woke up for the fifth time that night after dreams of dying alone with no one there who cared. I broke down and cried.

If I now look at my life all I can really say is 'what life?'

I've let death consume me already, I've already gave up. I still go to treatments and I still let my body fight off the cancer but I've given up, I've decided that I don't care if I die and I don't care if people miss me and I just want to stop fighting.

_How can you be so selfish?_

I'm _tired_, not only mentally but it's taking a beating on my body as well.

I don't even think I'll let Jake give me one of his kidney's if I ever need it.. It would be another fight with the clock. My body will eventually give up and stop fighting, and sure, there have been millions of survivors for ALL but with my luck I won't make it.

_Not if you surrender you life!_

I'm not surrendering, I've already lost.

"Are you awake?" Rose called from my closed door

I sat up quickly and whipped the tears from my eyes and threw the covers cover up to my chin to hide the brusies on the inside of my arms.

"Yes." My voice croaked from the crying, I cleared my throat and spoke louder. "You can come in."

Rose slowly opened the door and walked in.

"Sorry for snapping at you last night, I was afraid Emmett's brother and sister wouldn't like me." She admitted scooting my legs over so she could sit on the edge of my bed.

I rolled my eyes.

"Has there ever been anyone who hasn't liked you, Rose?"

"Actually.. Remember that time I told you about my boyfriend before Emmett.. Riley?" I nodded my head. "His sister Victoria hated me. I think there was some weird ass infest going on in that twisted family."

She flinched from the memory.

I chuckled.

Rose glared at me beforing smirking.

"You like Edward." She stated.

Geez, Rose. Blunt much?

"You like Emmett." I countered, looking over at the clock.

6:35 a.m

Damn, I should go back to sleep.

"Ahh! Bella! are you finally going to come out of your shell and lose the v-card?"

"Rosalie!" I said sitting up and pulling the covers around my shoulders tightly

Rose gave me a look.

"Come on, Bella. You haven't so much as talked to a guy -besides Emmett- since you moved in with me. Edward is the first guy you've really had a conversation with. I know you're a virgin." Rose crossed her arms, waiting for me to protest. When I didn't her smile grew, she got up quickly and walked toward the door.

"What are you doing?" I asked, I saw her through my open door, she was standing in the kitchen going through her purse. She pulled out her cell phone and began dialing.

"Calling Alice for Edward's number." She said simply, putting the phone to her ear.

I shot out of bed, pulling the covers along with me.

"Rose, no. I don't want to talk to Edward plus it's six in the morning she's probably still sl-"

Rose held up her hand cutting me off.

"Alice?" She spoke into the phone. "Yes, this is Rosalie sorry about the early call," She shot me a grin. "Bella just couldn't wait to get her hand's on Edward's number.... Yeah, I know!... Of course I'll give you Bella's cell for Edward.." She was smirking now.

Bitch.

"Rose. Give. Me. The. Pho-"

"Phone number, Bella? Hold on Alice is getting it, you're really eager about calling Edward huh?"

Rose was nearly falling over with laugher I grounded my teeth together and went to stomp into my room. Rose caught a hold of my arm and pulled me back, writing down something on a peice of paper.

"Bella says thank you. I'll call you later to schedule lunch next weekend. Bye." Rose hung up the phone and tossed me a peice of paper. "You'll thank me for this later, once you and Edward are happily married with a shit load of kids." Rose said with twinkiling eyes. "Can you believe we'll be sis-"

I blocked out her voice, I honestly think she was smoking something this morning. I mean who gets up before the sun is even up to get someone a phone number and then starts going on and on about a possible future?

Rosalie Hale, that's who.

Mr. and Mrs. Hale must be so proud.

Sometimes I think Jasper got all the brians and Rose was left with the good looks, I mean Jasper is still good looking but nothing can compare to Rosalie, not even her twin brother.

I looked down at the peice of paper with Edward Mason's number on it.

I closed my eyes tightly.

I can not do this! I can't even make it possible to fall for him- or him for me. This will complicate everthing, not only will I get emotionally attatched but there is the possiblility of him to, and I couldn't do that to anyone especially Edward.

Just by looking at him you can see how full of life he is, how breathtakiningly gorgeous and smart he is but there was also the overly confident asshole who thought everyone wanted him and in truth he was right. I would have never thought of being attracted to him, but I was.. He's everything i'm not, and I will not pull all this shit on him

_You could just call him, see how he is doing today..?_

I could, but that's what Emmett's for.

_Using poor Emmett to get what you want.. what would Renee and Charlie say?_

You know? this _inner voice_ thing is not working out for me. In fact, it's really annoying..

I walked into my room and plopped down onto the bed, staring at Rose's perfect handwriting.

Maybe I could just call once.. and then i'll throw the paper away and never look back.

I quickly glanced over at the clock. 6:48 a.m.

He's probably still sleeping..

I shrugged.

All well, i'll be his wake up call.

I smirked and dialed the number.

He answered on the 4th ring.

"Hello?" He croaked out.

SHIT!

I panicked.

I gasped and pressed the end button and threw my phone at the end of the bed.

What. The. Fuck. Bella.

My phone began to ring.

double shit.

I looked at the I.D.

Unknown..

Maybe it wasn't him..

I hesitantly picked up the phone and pressed talk.

_Be cool._

"Hello?" I asked softly.

"Bella?"

Ahhh, can I ever catch a break?

"Hello, Edward. How are you this morning." My voice cracked on 'you'.

"Ugh, well. Hungover, but- did you just call me?"

"What? No of course not, I just woke up myself." I was babbling

_Shut up, Bella._

"Right.. Well.."

Ugh, what should I say?

Damn, I sound like a twelve year old

"Um, so i'll let you get back to sleep then." I said awkwardly.

Edward chuckled.

"Good morning, Bella."

I smiled.

"Happy day, Edward."

"Wanna go out Friday?"

What?.. Wait, _What?_

"Ugh.." As much as I wanted too, I really couldn't "I don't think that's a good idea." I said in a small voice.

"Why not?" He sounded offended, I heard shuffiling on the other end.

"Your brother is dating my room mate, it'll be weird.." and I don't want to ruin your life with my drama

"I don't think it will. Come on, one date. If it doesn't work out, then that's okay." He said in seductive voice

Could he be anymore full of him self?

I frowned and shook my head, before remember he couldn't see me.

"Maybe some other time. Look, I really have to go. I hope you feel better, Bye." I hung up before he could protest.

I sighed down at the little peice of paper before crumpiling it up and throwing it over to the trash can, of course I missed but I didn't bother going over to pick it up, I rolled over on my stomach and closed my eyes, hoping to escape this world for a few more hours.

* * *

The sun was shining brightly through my window, I rolled over and opened my eyes feeling extremely exhausted.

I could already tell this day was going to be hell.

Glancing over at the clock I noticed it was nearly 2 in the afternoon my eyes widened, I'm going to be late for class!

Getting up quickly my head began to spin and I fell to the ground.

"Ouch!" I yelled grabbing my head and stumbiling toward my dresser to get fresh clothes. I headed toward the bathroom, not having enough time to shower but was in desperate need of a tooth brush.

10 minutes later I was practically jogging toward the busses with my bag slung over my arm.

Please don't fall

Please don't fall.

_Please_ don't fall.

I chanted over and over in my head.

I made it to the bus stop in one peice, thankfully.

Climbing aboard I noticed there was no open seats.

I sighed.

Just my luck.

I went to stand in the back holding on firmly to the metal rod in front of my head.

I was cursing silently under my breath with every bump we crossed.

"Woah, you gotta dirty mouth on you. I never thought I'd hear such a pretty lady with such a breathtaking mouth saying such naughtly things." Someone said behind me.

I turned to glare at the person, planning on telling them I had a penis so they would shut the hell up and not flirt with me.

Turning around I saw something that made me want to kick myself for getting on the bus, and wishing I my truck didn't break down..

"Bella." He said with a smirk.

I smiled tightly at him

"Hello, Edward."

His grin grew and he quickly stood up and offered me his seat. I raised an eyebrow and sat down hesitantly.

"So you're fallowing me now?" I asked looking straight ahead and playing with the strap on my bag, I didn't really think he was fallowing me but I found it strange that he would be on the exact same bus at the exact same time.

I heard him chuckle.

"It depends on what you mean by fallowing."

I gaped and turned to stare at him.

My eyes roamed his body with out my consent.

He was wearing jeans that road low on his hips and a simple blue cotton t-shirt

_Hm, very nice._

What the Hell? Am I _borat_ now?

I closed my mouth and went to staring in front of my again, trying repeatedly to calm my suddenly frantic heartbeat. My facade probably wasn't as good as I hoped but it would have to do for another five minutes or so.

"Is this your way of making me crack?... So that I'll go out with you?" I asked after a few moments of silence, I peaked up and him and saw the crooked smile that made.. area's slightly damp. I squirmed in my seat.

"What exactly do you mean?" He asked innocently.

It was my turn to smirk.

"I can see the game you're trying to play Edward. And quite franky, I'm not interested." Liar liar, pant on fire. "You think i'm going to give in like I did last night at the bar. It's not going to happen so you're wasting your time." I said in what I hoped was a convincing voice.

It was true, I wouldn't give in. I've caused enough people pain, and I wasn't about to go dragging someone else in it. But I prayed he'd listen to me now, because I didn't know how long I could keep it up... There was some kind of undescribable draw I had to him, and it scared the shit out of me.

I heard Edward chuckle and felt him lean in closer, so close I could feel his warm breath on my cheek. I swollowed and blushed.

"I'm not giving up, so prepare to be seeing alot of me." He said with determination, I turned my head so our noses where almost touching and glared at him, his green eyes sparkled with admiration that only made me glare even more

Did he really have to make things so difficult?

I wanted to smack him and tell him to take his hard headed self somewhere else because I was no good for him and in the end all he would happen would be him getting hurt.. and possibly me.

* * *

Edward made sure to keep his promise.

The entire week he was at the apartment with Emmett, he went out to dinner with Rose, Emmett, and I. He even had the nerve to show up _without_ Emmett.

It was like I had my own personal stalker, and to be honest... It turned me on.

I was beginning to feel my will crumbliling, and cursed myself for not being more cautious. On Wednesday Emmett and Edward were over again, watching some movie with Rose. I had my second doctors appointment that week, and told Rose I was going to the library again. Of course she didn't notice, seeing as she was almost as oblivious as Charlie but I caught Edward narrowing his eyes toward me.

"This is the second time you've gone to the library, and you never bring anything back." He said glaring

I glared back.

"That's none of your business, Mason. I don't check out books, I read there asshole."

He grinned.

"Sure, Swan. Have fun at the library." He said sarcastically.

"Bite me." I said flipping him off.

"Suck me." He shrugged with a grin.

I rolled my eyes and turned to leave.

"You wish." I called over my shoulder.

"More than you know, Baby." He called back, I heard Rose and Emmett's loud laugher.

"That's her way or showing you she likes you, Edward. Don't take it seriously." Rose said.

"Fuck Off, Rosalie." I called when I reached the door.

I heard their laughter and smiled.

The rest of the week went like that, Edward and I arguing. Rose and Emmett snickering. There were actually times I wanted to beat him with a pan, and I'm sure he wanted to call me a bitch and throw me out the window. But somehow that made me want him more, and from the looks of it, it did exactly the same. Everytime I would say something that pissed him off and we start yelling at each other he gets that lust filled look in his eyes and I'd want to jump him.

I was oddly comfortable with him, and I was beginning to get used to him coming over to dinner everynight with Emmett. It was almost like he was the new member to the twisted group we had going on.

A loud knock on the door pulled me from my thoughts. I hoped off the couch and opened the door, seeing Emmett and Edward standing there with beer.

I rolled my eyes and moved so they could come through.

Edward flashed me a shit eating grin, and I rolled my eyes.

"How's it goin' slim?" Emmett asked from the kitchen.

"Well, I was trying to study but then you two needledicks decided to interuppt." I lied. I wasn't getting anything done, I kept fantasizing about Edward with his shirt off.

I walked into the kitchen and saw Edward leaning against the couner with his arms crossed staring at me intently.

"Why are you so mean to me?" He asked suddenly.

_Cause it's for your own good_. I thought heading over to the fridge and taking a 12 pack out of Emmett's hands and placing it on the top shelf.

I turned back to Edward and shrugged.

"Why are you so interested in me?" I asked, knowing he wouldn't answer the question because I've asked many times before.

He nodded and smiled.

"Touche." He said grabbing the empty bag and shoving it under the sink.

"Where's Rosie?" Emmett asked looking toward her bedroom door.

I sighed, he knew she was in there so I didn't understand why he would ask.

I nodded my head toward her door and he smiled walking over pausing with his hand on the knob before turning back to me and Edward.

"Play nicely, Kids." He chuckled opening the door and shutting it behind him.

I rolled my eyes and turned toward the living room.

"You're eyes are going to get stuck like that if you don't stop rolling your damn eyes." Edward said fallowing me.

I turned back and rolled my eyes just for his benifit.

He sighed and I chuckled, I plopped down on the couch and closed my book turning on the TV

Edward sat next to me and grabbed the remote out of my hand, casually throwing his arm around my shoulder.

"You're such a dick." I chuckled trying to grab it out of his hand, he held it away and raised an eyebrow at me.

"You need that dirty mouth of yours washed out, Swan." His eyes filled with amusement, and a smile playing around the edges.

I frowned and pulled back, sitting back on my knees. Edward lowered the hand with the remote and turned back toward the TV. I smacked him in the forehead quickly and his head snapped back I busted out laughing when he turned to look at me with a bewildered look on his face.

I bent over laughing hyserically, my sides aching and my eyes filling with tears.

Edward grabbed me by the waist and pulled me so I was sitting on his lap, my legs on either side of him.

"You think that's funny, Swan?" He asked calmly, I nodded my head hesitantly a little uncomfotable with our current postion. He leaned forward and I stiffened instantly. "Say you're sorry." He whispered in my ear.

I smiled and shook my head no.

He pulled back and raised his eyebrows.

"This is you're last chance." He warned.

I snorted and went to climb off his lap, his hands grabbed my hips firmly and cocked an eyebrow at him.

"Eat shit, Mason. I'm not saying sorry." I said crossing my arms.

He smiled slowly and brought his hands to my waist, he began tickling me. I yelped in surprise and tried to push him off he wasn't having it though, his tickling became more intense and soon I was laughing so hard heavy tears where streaming down my face.

Edward chuckled when I started begging his to stop between giggles.

"What's the word I'm looking for, Isabella?" He asked, still tickling me.

I was gasping for air, somehow I ended up laying on my back on the couch with Edward hovering over me still ticklingthe shit out of me.

"S-S-Sorry." I stampered out between laughs.

Edward sat up satisfied and nodded his head in approval.

"Good girl." He said looking back at the TV

I scooted closer to his and whipped my tear stained face on the sleeve of his shirt.

"How d'ya like me now, Dickface?" I laughed at the horrified expression on his face.

He grinned over at me.

"Piss off, Swan." He chuckled settling down beside me and throwing his arm around the back of the couch.

I smirked and sat back thinking: What the hell have I got my self into?

* * *

_**There it is. I hope you guys weren't confused, Edward and Bella have this sort of love/hate thing going on. Bella hates Edward's cockyness but she also loves that part of him, they are basically opposites and that attracts the two of them to each other. She wants to hate him, because she doesn't want to get emotionally attached if things started to go wrong, unlike other fan fics where Bella is completely oblivious to Edward's feelings, Bella can see Edward is attracted to her the way she is to him, seeing as he makes it obviously .. well you'll see his point of view soon. Sorry it took a while to update, I didn't know what to write.**_


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